Ahhh… Let’s Find Some Inner Calm
I’ve been working really hard to create inner calm or peace. That sounds ironic, working hard to find calm. I recently shared in my newsletter how I’m struggling and dealing with anxiety. That was before all of this coronavirus madness started. So of course, it’s only gotten worse. If you’re struggling like I am, watch this video with advice on coping with anxiety. Maybe some of you find calm quite easily? I do NOT. I also have to work at being happy and joyful, which does not come naturally to me. Nor, anyone… really. Your brain is hard-wired to find things wrong, as part of our survival instinct.
So while it may seem counterintuitive to ‘work‘ at being happy and calm… it’s necessary.
Understanding this fact was really a game-changer for me. Once I have a plan or a goal, I am really good at executing it.
So, let’s develop a plan together and focus on some inner calm…
#1 | Get Outside
It’s ironic. I lived in a beautiful, warm climate… with a resort-like backyard for years in Texas… and yet I hardly went outside. WHY? I’m not quite sure. I wasn’t walking or hiking or biking or doing any of the things that I crave and look forward to here in Colorado. Something about the mountains beckons me to step out the door.
Since moving here, I make time to get outside. Even amid a crazy, busy schedule with less help than I had in Texas, I make the time. And, you know what…?? When I do…I feel better….calmer… and happier. During this past ski season, I made myself ski every Friday and I really enjoyed myself! If you only have a few minutes, step outside, breath, look around…take a short walk.
TIP: If you are rolling your eyes, you really need to get outside more. LOL. I might have been right there with you in my 20’s. It can totally change your perspective!
#2 | Exercise
Oh I know it sucks… It’s SO freakin hard and I’m sure you can think of 8,000 better things to do, but science doesn’t lie. Exercise boosts your endorphins, which in turn makes you happier and less stressed. I know it’s true for me. If I exercise, I feel better about myself. The stronger I get, the happier I am. It helps me to mix up the exercise, like some days it’s skiing (above). Others a hike, exercise class… or following a workout app. I recently did a post on the best at-home workout apps!
And, P.S. when you have kids at 38 like I did.. you gotta stay strong to keep up with these energy grabbers! Or be able to sit on the floor and play. What the hell is happening with my joints? 😉
#3 | Meditate
I used to hear this word and think… this is for weird people, not me. As I’ve gotten older, less judgmental, and much wiser, I realize there is real value in meditation. Plus, I think I just didn’t understand fully what it is. All you do is sit with your eye clothes, and focus on breathing.
Headspace
In my case, a great friend recommended the app, “Headspace,” which does all the work for you.
You just sit and listen. I can handle that! I’ve been meditating for over 2 years now, and it definitely brings a sense of calm to my day. It also helps to keep me focused. Meditation reminds me a LOT of hypnosis…which I absolutely LOVE. But, that is a story for another day… 😉
Some of the apps in this post also offer great meditation and workout combos!
#4 | Girl Time
Never underestimate the power of a positive friendship (note the word positive). I talk a bit about positive relationships/friendships in this video and post. When you are feeling a little blue, call your bud, schedule lunch, coffee or drinks. After spending some time really connecting with an upbeat, wonderful woman… you will have a whole new outlook! I love going to exercise classes here in Telluride because it forces me to get out of my work bubble and interact with other women. I come back feeling refreshed and energized…ready to tackle anything that comes my way.
#5 | Set Limits
I have so many more tips, like eating well, thinking positive thoughts, writing down goals or objectives…But setting limits is probably the MOST important in terms of finding inner calm. Try to set limits… with social media exposure, like maybe only check it 20 times a day, instead of 50.
Or make an effort to put the phone down, for REAL… at 8 pm every evening. I’m still working on this one.
Saying No
Saying, “No” is also REALLY important. I did a whole video about it here. (an oldie, but a goody!). You have to set limits on everything…from what you put in your mouth… to what you say yes to among friends, and your community. If you are over-booked, over-eating, over…anything…that’s going to mess with your inner calm.
What do you do to get some inner calm? I’d love to hear your tips in the comments below!
Please let me know if you have any questions. Don’t forget to subscribe to my exclusive newsletter. Thanks for stopping by…
HI Erin,
I know what you mean about stress. I am fortunate to live in Phoenix and this is our beautiful time of year. I go out in my golf cart and ride around with my dog, enjoying the sunshine. You live in a beautiful state. I know, as I lived in Durango for 17 years, before marrying my husband 7 years ago. I think happiness is a state of mind. When we stop to think about our lives, with an attitude of gratitude, it makes things easier. I hope the time passes quickly and we are all soon to be together in whatever way we wish again. Thank you for being you! Susan
Erin you are always positive, beautiful, and With Such in depth information I thoroughly enjoy each of your letters and videos. I have just recently found utuBe so I am spending my quiet time bingeing……bingeing on your videos…..great biNges!
Thank you for all your Great thoUghts snd beautiful thoughts and soul.
I find calm in my relationship with Jesus, meditating on His word, getting outdoors, taking my b vitamins and MAGNESIUM everyday, taking dead sea salt baths, exercise, staying busy taking care of my home and family.
Hi Erin,
Lovely post! Sometimes bloggers/vloggers can seem like they have perfect lives, perfectt hair, perfect everything. you are willing to share your weaknesses and concerns. That makes you so much more enjoyable to follow. you are much more like a friend than some random person talking about fashion. Thank you for being so honest and offering wonderful suggestions for all of us to follow in this strange/weird/stressful time.
What a wonderful note…thank you so much for taking the time to write me, Carolyn. Made my day! Erin xo
hi erin,
here’s my 2 cent worth on what i think…
constant and frequent reminder(s) on compassion to myself (that often help me to de-escalate anxiety before it spirals out of proportion) are:
I am not perfect and while i want to do my best, there are times when I cannot do it all and do it as per my high expectations and it is okay!
i may not accomplish all the tasks i set out to accomplish in any given day, and this too is ok!
what matters most to me is the process/journey and not so much the goal.
loading my frustration on 1) myself and (2) on others can be damaging and harmful both to myself and others; now & down the road as i do not want to be blamed for being ‘controlling’; I do not want to experience guilt & remorse. so i figure, i’d rather focus on here and now by getting a grip of my neurotic self. afterall, an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.
warm wishes, j.
I get a sense of calm by getting enough sleep, deciding each day what I want to do (i’m retired), keeping a list of to-do’s (wants and needs) so I get the sense of satisfaction completing something – even a part of a task), focusing on my gratitudes each morning – what 2-3 things am i grateful for? Changes the lens with which I look at my day and my life and most important – staying connected to God and my family and friends. Without connection I feel untethered, adrift….
Yikes! I just saw my previous post and iT looks like it was written bY a manIac.
Please maKe this box in caps & loWer case so we can see the way our comments will appear Once theyre submitted.
Thanks!
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I follow david sinclair To get the true science behind covid-19. But, i started catastrophizing and bummIng out my friends who WEREN’T going down thAt information rabBit hole. ????????
now i’m trying to Take it one day at a time. Accepting what is and doing my best to avoid exposure.
AlSo, i’M off alcohol, caffeine & added sugar. I’ve lOst 2 pounds Each week, so i’ll be ready When we can go out and play again.????
Great advice. I have Been working on all these thinGs. The hardest for Me is not having time with friends now. It souNds like this could go on inTo the summer. I hope i don’t go crazY not haVing human contacT. I have increaseD my time meDitating and that haS helped enormously! I have been meditating now foR 47 years! Hard to believe!❤️