The situation, unfortunately, is the most common. My wife and I are 40 years old, already 12. One child from the first marriage, two common. Wife – clever, successful director of a large company, good mother. While I was younger, I earned it on a par with her. After moving to another city, where my wife was invited to work four years ago, I could not find a job.
I devote the maximum time to my family, children, but I feel that I can’t do it anymore. I am looking for any work, but against the background of a very “advanced” wife I do not know how to live and be further. There are no intimate relationships for a long time. We rarely quarrel,
but strongly, I leave home every time, then I return. How to be?
Perhaps everything that you described can be divided into two parts. On the one hand-12 years of marriage with the “Umother’s wife, a successful director of a large company, a good mother”, three children, your huge contribution to this family. On the other hand, absolute intolerance to the current situation: “I feel that I can no longer”.
It is very sad to read about how two close people who could simply share duties and functions and perceive the family as a common cause, compete and quarrel. But what is the reason for your quarrels? Your feeling of unrealization? Thoughts that you are “losing” against the background of your wife?
One gets the impression that you are constantly comparing yourself with your spouse, and, unfortunately, not in your favor. As if her career is not your common merit, not you moved with her to another city, you have not devoted maximum time to family and children. As if there is she, there are you, and you are not together … And the family is not your common cause, where everyone puts it out that he does better.
It seems that you both are not struggling not with the outside world and external difficulties, but with each other, and in this struggle all lose. And of course, it is difficult to compete, quarrel with his wife, and then experience a sexual desire for her. Either struggle or sex … But you have something to fight for: family, long years, three children. It seems that you have to learn to cooperate at this new life stage. Working with a family psychologist could be very useful.
